透過練習自我覺察,你可以學會更用心地傾聽——不只是言語,更要聆聽那未被說出的情感與意義。
「每次部門會議時,我發現自己一邊聽主管報告,一邊已經開始在腦中規劃下午的客戶簡報了。」一位科技業資深產品經理如此描述他的困境。這種經驗在現代職場中相當普遍,不論是在科技、金融、還是教育領域,許多人都面臨著類似的挑戰。正念傾聽——全神貫注地聆聽他人,不帶判斷也不預設立場——是一項基礎卻經常被忽視的溝通技巧。
傾聽是一種藝術,需要我們放下自我,真誠地進入他人的世界。
常見的傾聽習慣——你是哪一種?
當今最常見的傾聽模式是:聽者不斷以「對對對、嗯嗯、沒錯...」等詞打斷說話者,或是「幫忙」別人接話,把話語權攬在自己身上,又或者只忙著「提供建議」。這些作為不但無法讓說話者感受到被理解,反而容易形成一種緊張的溝通氛圍。在這個永遠在線的高速時代,特別是在職場中,人們似乎越來越難以靜下心來傾聽。然而,透過正念練習,我們可以學會觀察自己與他人的互動方式,並藉由全神貫注的傾聽,為雙方帶來更有價值的交流。
就像練習冥想一樣,正念傾聽的關鍵在於覺察到心神游走時,輕柔地將注意力拉回到說話者身上。要特別留意自己是否有打斷別人、急著表達己見或分享類似經驗的習慣。這些介入往往會讓談話變成關於你的事,而非專注於對方想表達的內容。正念傾聽的精神是:以開放、接納、不批判且富有同理心的態度來聆聽。一個實踐方法是,試著重述你所聽到的內容,確認自己是否真正理解了對方的訊息。你可能會驚訝地發現,我們的心理濾鏡常常導致微妙的誤解。
在一次企業培訓中,一位人資主管分享:「當我開始練習正念傾聽後,意外發現了一種前所未有的自由感。」她發現,不需要急著思考回應或等待說話機會,反而能真正理解和處理所聽到的訊息。另一位專案經理則表示,正念傾聽幫助他看清楚自己總是急於解決問題的習慣,反而忽略了傾聽團隊成員的感受和想法。
5 關鍵技巧 培養正念傾聽
以下是五個幫助你培養正念傾聽的關鍵技巧:
1. 聆聽言外之意:進入對話時,讓自己保持專注和開放的狀態。深呼吸幾次,問問自己:這個人在字裡行間想表達什麼?他們的情緒狀態如何?
2. 運用身體語言:安靜傾聽時,放下自己的議程,用點頭或適當的表情來展現你的專注。讓對方感受到你的參與和理解。
3. 覺察走神時刻:當發現思緒飄走時,不要自責,只要溫和地將注意力帶回對話中。這需要持續的練習和耐心。
4. 留意身體訊號:時常察覺自己的身體反應。胸口是否緊繃?肩膀是否僵硬?這些都是重要的覺察線索。
5. 以好奇心回應:練習純粹傾聽後,可以嘗試以開放式問題深入探討,例如:「聽起來這對你來說很重要,能多說一些嗎?」
正念傾聽不只是一種溝通技巧,更是一種建立深度連結的方式。在這個分心的時代,或許這正是我們最需要學習的生活藝術。
Are You Really Understanding What Others Say? Practice Mindful Listening for Authentic Conversations
Through self-awareness practice, you can learn to listen more attentively—not just to words, but to the emotions and meanings that often go unspoken.
"During team meetings, I find myself listening to my manager's updates while mentally preparing for my afternoon client presentation," describes a senior product manager at a tech company. This experience is remarkably common in today's workplace, whether in technology, finance, or education sectors. Mindful listening—paying full attention to others without judgment or agenda—is a fundamental skill that's often overlooked in our communication.
Listening is an art that requires us to set aside our ego and genuinely enter another person's world.
Common Listening Habits—Which Type Are You?
The most prevalent listening pattern today involves listeners constantly interrupting with "yeah, right, uh-huh..." or "helping" by finishing others' sentences, or simply being busy "offering advice." These behaviors don't make speakers feel understood; instead, they create a tense atmosphere of communication. In our always-connected, high-speed world, particularly in professional settings, people seem increasingly unable to listen quietly. However, through mindfulness practice, we can learn to observe our interactions with others and bring more value to our exchanges through full attention.
Like meditation practice, the key to mindful listening lies in noticing when your mind wanders and gently bringing your attention back to the speaker. Pay particular attention to whether you tend to interrupt others, rush to express your opinions, or share similar experiences. These interventions often turn the conversation about you rather than focusing on what the other person wants to express. The essence of mindful listening is: maintaining an open, accepting, non-judgmental, and empathetic attitude. One practical method is to try repeating what you've heard to confirm whether you truly understand the speaker's message. You might be surprised to discover how often our mental filters lead to subtle misunderstandings.
During a corporate training session, an HR director shared: "When I started practicing mindful listening, I unexpectedly discovered a newfound sense of freedom." She realized that not having to rush to think of responses or wait for her turn to speak allowed her to truly understand and process what she was hearing. Another project manager noted that mindful listening helped him recognize his habit of rushing to solve problems, which often meant overlooking his team members' feelings and thoughts.
5 Key Techniques to Develop Mindful Listening
Here are five key techniques to help you cultivate mindful listening:
1. Listen Between the Lines: When entering a conversation, maintain a focused and open state. Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself: What is this person trying to express between their words? What is their emotional state?
2. Use Body Language: While listening quietly, set aside your agenda and use nodding or appropriate expressions to show your attention. Let the other person feel your engagement and understanding.
3. Notice Mental Wandering: When you find your thoughts drifting, don't criticize yourself—simply bring your attention gently back to the conversation. This requires continuous practice and patience.
4. Monitor Physical Signals: Regularly check your body's responses. Is your chest tight? Are your shoulders tense? These are important awareness cues.
5. Respond with Curiosity: After practicing pure listening, try exploring with open-ended questions, such as: "This seems important to you, could you tell me more about it?"
Mindful listening is more than just a communication technique; it's a way to build deeper connections. In this age of distraction, perhaps this is precisely the life skill we most need to learn.